Tuesday, April 26

Izzy's Takeover

"Where in the world is Sable Jordan?"

*Maniacal laugh*

Hi all.
You may have noticed Sable's been M.I.A. from her blog for the past 2 weeks. She was last seen partying with Tonya (and it was quite the party), but then she sort of disappeared.  Don't worry, she's not completely gone. She's locked in her dungeon so she could bang out a few stories she's way behind on.  Way, waaaay behind on.   

Which means you're left with me, one of her ids.  Who am I? you ask. Isadora Monday, at your service. But you can call me Izzy. I'm the thriller/suspense side of all that smut Sable writes.  

Not really sure about this blogging stuff, so bear with me. Sable's instructions weren't the clearest. She was thinking some naughty things at the time...she's always thinking naughty things. It's a wonder the girl remembers to eat.  And we definitely need to have a chat about having our mutually shared boobage on display in her profile pic. Sheesh! So, anyhow, here we go.  Today's topic: Villains.

Like I said, I'm the thriller writer, and what got me really interested in this genre is the lady in the pic above: Carmen Sandiego. I so wanted to be Carmen when I was a kid. I remember going to a friend's house who had the game on floppy disks (yes, I'm dating myself...and Sable).  We, the determined agents of the ACME Detective Agency would sit down with a notepad—we were serious gamers—and work out the clues to track down our perp, the crafty Miss Sandiego.  We'd hunt her for hours and hours, traveling to distant lands, solving math equations and reading riddles, but the dastardly V.I.L.E. ringleader would slip through our grasps at every turn. Good times.

What endears me the most to Carmen is that she's such a badass villainess.  And that theme song: "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego." Every villain should have a theme song.  I'd sit there trying to be a good little detective and catch my perp, and all the while I'm like damn, wish I could play from Carmen's perspective. She got to run around the world with a seemingly limitless supply of cash doing all kinds of villain-type things. If they ever make a movie about her I'm sure they'd get A.J. to play the lead. (FYI A.J. is Angelina Jolie, 'cause yeah, we're tight like that).  

Carmen comes up a lot when I'm writing. Why? Because to write great thrillers, you need great villains. Villains are my lifeblood. They drive the plot behind my plot. Carmen's bold, she's ruthless (or as ruthless as a pre-X-Box game let's you get without simulated blood spatter), she's clever, she's extreme.  She wears confidence as easily as she wears that hat cocked on her head, and she uses her beauty to disarm. Great villain. And whatever her flaw, we don't know it yet.  

When I read Sable's stuff, the aim is different. She starts with an idea of her leads and, as she says, figures out how to get them from "hello to the Big O" in as many words as she's allowed herself. Then she throws in the drama they go through (if drama's needed).  In my thrillers, I have to approach things differently. I start with my villain, my Carmens.  Because a hero is as useless as tits on a bull without an evil to fight. Turns out, I might actually know my villains better than I know my hero(ine).  

Being a villain is a proactive thing; a hero, reactive. Villains have the burden of crafting their evil, working out all the kinks to make sure they get everything to go KABLOOEY! before the hero can stop them.  And it's a tedious job. Everyone feels badly for the hero, but villains are so misunderstood.  All that planning, holding on to all that rage, keeping so many secrets, sometimes switching identities to get everything together an all so the hero can come along and "Keep the bomb from being" to quote the maniac from Speed.  (To be clear, I don't quote Keanu movies much...Let's move on.)

I feel badly for villains.  Not so bad that I don't want my heroes to win, mind, but there's a little tug at the heartstrings sometimes.  It probably all stems from my love for Carmen. I'd secretly applaud when she got away, because I knew the pursuit was still on. And that's the fun in chasing a worthy opponent. My tip if you're a thriller writer: Know your villain(s) inside out. Know what makes them tick. Know what color their underpants are. Know whether they like Corn Flakes or Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast.  Your job in writing thrillers is to make your opponents, and their causes, worthy enough of the heros you create to thwart them.

*Shameless promo*. I'm working on a book. Several, actually. And while I know you're all Sable fans, I hope you'll swing by and check out my work too. Not to worry, there's always a romance thread, because it ups the stakes...and because Sable is a controlling id.  She likes to stick stuff in where she can. (yes, there's a pun in there somewhere).  Expect a release from me late 2011, early 2012. I seriously hope we get through the whole "Mayan Experience" unscathed because I have some stories to tell.  

To update you about little miss Lick My Ink, Sable's working on an anthology, a FREE anthology, among other things.  It'll be out soon. I won't say much about it because I'm sure she'll want to inform you of all the sticky goodness in there herself.  Plus she's trying to release a few more books before the year's out and I know she's not finished writing them all. *sigh* Which means I'll swing by again to yammer on about thrillers and how much they rock :)

I'm supposed to plug Sable here so thanks for #LickingMyInk.


Monday, April 11

It's a PARTY!!!!

Hey people! If you're looking for me, I'm dripping my INK over at the Tonya Kinzer blog this week. 

There's a chance to get entered for the GIVEAWAY!!

What are ya waiting for? Go forth and #LickMyInk :)

Thursday, April 7


Some of you might have seen this yesterday 'cause I goofed and forgot to change the publish settings. My bad. Here they are again, my THURSDAY 13 :)

13 of my favorite movie moments.

The quotes don't really makes sense out of context, so I'll explain a bit. Some of these are irreverent, and I don't mean to offend.  But I like irreverent *shrugs* All right, disclaimer out of the way.  Ready? Let's go!

1. Road To Perdition-the Sullivan brothers are in a bedroom and the youngest is smiling.  The oldest asks him what he's smiling about and the youngest says "'Cause it's all so fuckin' hysterical," sarcastically repeating something an adult said to him earlier. It's much funnier when the kid says it.

2. Inside Man- Denzel and Clive are in the bank, and Denzel is telling Clive about proposing to his girlfriend, but he doesn't have the money for a ring.  Clive, who is robbing the bank, says it shouldn't be about the ring if they're in love.  And Denzel says (in a way that only he can), "Thank you, bank robber." That cracks me up every time.

3. Snatch- Really there are way too many to post here. Love this movie, it's hilarious. But for now I'll go with the part where Brick Top says "In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary...come again?"

4. In Bruges- this one's sort of a no-brainer.  Favorite part is when Colin Farrell indignantly says "It's fuckin' Bruges!" Linked so you can check it out.

5. Rock n Rolla'-  When Archie smacks Johnny Quid so hard he spins his head and Johnny calmly says, "That, Roman and Mickey, is the famous Archie slap." I laugh at that every time...then I rewind it. 

6. Fifth Element- "Lilu Dallas multi-pass...Muuul-Teeee Pass."

7. Friday- When Smokey's sitting in D-Bo's pigeon coop, cooing like a bird. HAHA!!

8. Gladiator- "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, marcus Aurelius.  Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife.  And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." If that's not the perfect death threat...

9. Malcom X- Denzel before the long line of followers. He doesn't say a word, just holds up his hand, palm out, and then points and walks away and everybody walks behind him.  Goosebumps.

10. Ocean's Eleven (and 12 and 13 for that matter... loved this series)- Again, one of those movies with tons to list, but when Basher says "It will be nice to work with proper criminals again." And then when Saul asks "Tess is with Benedict now?  She's too tall for him."

11. Love Jones- Nothing, repeat, NOTHING will ever top Larenz Tate's A Blues for Nina.  That. Was. HOT.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about CLICK.  "Is your name yimmy ya?" 

Damn, only two spaces left. All right, 

12.  I Spy- Owen Wilson complaining about his spy gear compared to the great Carlos's.  "Size does matter, but in the spy world, it's reversed...I can't help but notice my stuff looks like you got it at Radio Shack in 1972!" (His voice squeaks at the end.)

13. Ronin- Robert Deniro... Okay I'm just gonna post the quote from IMBD so you can get the full effect of this.  Or you can click here to watch. FYI for those reading, Robert's character is Sam.  Spence is played by Sean Bean.  Aaaannnnd ACTION!

There are so many more I could list, so I might do another 13 later.  But you tell me, what are some of your favorite movie moments? 

Spence: We got shooters here and here. I tell you an old trick. 

Sam: Hey... 
[rubs the board
Spence: What's your problem? 
Sam: Draw again. Draw it again. You're the ace field man. Draw it again. It's a simple diagram. Just draw it again. Draw what you saw. Draw it again! Draw it again! 
Sam: [Spence remains silent. Sam takes the marker and draws on the board] Two shooters. Car comes through here. Shooters across each other. Kill each other dead. Oh my, where'd you learn that? 
Spence: In the regiment. 
Sam: What regiment was that? 
Spence: The 22nd Special Air Service. 
Sam: What's the color of the boathouse at Hereford? 
Spence: I don't like your attitude! 
Sam: What's the color of the boathouse -... 
Spence: Fuck off! 
Sam: What's - -you got the gun. I'm unarmed. Do something. Go ahead. Do something. DO SOMETHING. 
[Spence spills the coffee cup and Sam subdues him
Sam: Tell me about an ambush. I ambushed you with a cup of coffee! 

Wednesday, April 6


"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."
~Gloria Leonard

I follow different blogs because, let's face it, there are people out there doing what I'm doing and doing it well.  On some of the romance blogs, people comment about how they often skip books tagged "erotica" because they're just about sex. Not true.  But it's not entirely their fault for feeling that way.

Depending on which site you go to for a definition, erotica is pornography.  The good people at thesaurus.com think so, and one of the synonyms for erotica there is "dirt".  They even underline it and put a star by it to make it stand out (although it's meant to indicate it's slang, but still, it's on the net so of course it's true, right?)  But dirt? Really? Unless your leads are gettin' busy in the garden or are  suffering a post-danger adrenaline rush after they've just had a near-death experience haulin' ass through the Florida mud pits and decide now's a good time to screw even though the killers are still tracking them, dirt kinda shouldn't be in the picture. Where was I...? Gardens...mud pits...killers...Oh, right.

Now, a search for a more refined definition calls erotica sex as art. (Paraphrasing) Doesn't that sound more high-brow? Sex as art. Sa-weet!  But some people won't take  the time to find the art and lump together all works of this sort, dismissing an entire sub-genre. Oddly enough, it's a genre that seems to be overtaking the eBook medium.  So what's the difference between erotica and porn? What sifts art from dirt?  Where's the "lighting" in books?  *shifts eyes left then right* It's a secret, but I'll whisper it if you come closer...closer...little closer...TSA close, people...*cups your ear*


Now remember that's a secret.  Don't tell anyone I told y—huh? This is on the web for everyone to see? Oh.  Well, secret's out of the bag I guess. ;) Plot separates literary porn from erotica.  It's not the exotic characters, it's not the extravagant setting, it's not extreme subject matter.  It's  plot, well-written plot.  Of course that's just my opinion, but this is my damn blog and I can say whatever the hell I want. Sky's not blue, it's orange, dammit!

I read a lot of erotica.  Research, I swear.  What separates the gems from the half-glossed stones are stories with a point.  That's not to say there has to be multiple storylines going on, but there has to be a reason I'm reading.  

Erotica is meant to be, well, erotic.  It's supposed to arouse, but in order to do that you can't just go around inserting Tab A into Slot B all willy-nilly and expect explosions.  You can't even insert Tab A into Slots B, C and D, go back to B and then finish off in or on E and call it good erotica. Chances are, after doing all that, you still might not get a spark.  It has to be more than making the connection(s); there has to be a plan for making those connections.  That's all plot is, a plan.  You're at point A, you need to get to point B, how're ya gonna make it happen?

As an erotica writer, traversing that path can be difficult to resolve book in and book out.  And a lot of authors find that after writing in the genre for a while, each story becomes harder and harder to INK, so by book 5 they either hint at the sex or abandon it altogether.  When we sit down to our laptops we have to ask ourselves "How do I get my leads from Hello to the Big O in a new and exciting way...that doesn't defy the laws of physics?"  ('Cause if we could defy the laws of physics, it would be a hellva lot easier.)  I once had my characters on the floor, completely naked and rarin' to go, and after ten minutes of inaction screamed at my screen "Commence with the fornicating already!" (I'm not lying, I actually did this).  I figured, birthday suits and same location, they'll work it out. NOT. The problem?  No plan. 

Which brings us back to the blog title, ePLOTica, Sable-speak for stories of erotica that have a plan. (ePLANica doesn't have quite the same ring). Do we need a new sub-genre to help the reader weed out those stories without "lighting"?  I don't know. I'm not sure how we get consumers who are reluctant to delve into the erotica genre to give us a chance, and it's kind of a pity they don't because there are some really good erotic stories with sexual content that is very well-written. Don't believe me, just read my book. *All the talk of Tabs and Slots, I had to throw in a plug :)*

Do I think ePLOTica as a tag will catch on? Will Webster add it to the dictionary? I don't know, but if O.M.G. can get in, maybe I've got a shot.  All that to say this, if you haven't checked out erotica because you're the "read Playboy for the articles" type, do some research and give it a chance.  Might be surprised at what you find.  And then do the author a favor and tag the book on amazon with "ePLOTica" for shits and gigs.  Maybe it'll catch on.  Like Zoe Winters would say "we're starting a revolution, bitches."

Got something to add? Drop me some INK.

* * * *

After writing this a friend found out there was something called "eroplotica", which is basically what I just yammered on about above.  I like my word better, 'cause I thought of it and 'cause eroplotica is a huge mouthful...there's a pun in there somewhere, I'm sure.  Keep licking the ink!

Sunday, April 3

#SampleSunday to #LickMyInk

It's that time again! Sample Sunday!
 *Insert cheering crowd*

But first, an update. I've been a little lax with blogging only because there are some MAJOR things in the works... well, major for me. :) And I'm juggling five outlines and an edit while INKing a couple shorts for anthologies. This girl is tired. So the blog had to take a mini break.  

But I'm back, so let's move along to what you're here for, another LICK of MY INK!

This yummy taste comes from the current release, DIFFERENT SHADES OF GRAY, which is $3.99 right now! Woo Hoo!  And you can LICK 5 Chapters for free here.  

     Scott raised an inquisitive eyebrow and grinned, leaning against the machine 
and into my personal space. “I think your gray eyes are turning green, Charlie. Jealousy 
is sexy on you. But anything is sexy on you.” 
     “That's Doctor Charlie to you, bub,” I said, hitting him playfully on the arm. “And 
whatever you and Nancy do in your bedroom is your own business. Although her 
recounts of the encounter were quite descriptive.” 
     “Well, Doctor Charlie, you don‟t have to get the info second-hand if you want to 
know about my bedroom expertise. I‟m more than willing to give you a first-hand 
account,” he said silkily, staring me straight in the eyes. 
     “Did you miss sexual harassment training?” 
     “Both times.” 
     I shook my head and chuckled. “You‟re impossible.” 
     “Scott!” a voice shrieked across the empty cafeteria. “They told me you were 
here. Why haven‟t you called me back?” Nancy asked, making a beeline across the 
room toward us. 
     Scott‟s face dropped as he saw the woman approach. 
     “I take it she doesn‟t know the affair is over?” I murmured. 
     “Come on, Charlie. Dinner,” he pleaded quickly, risking life and limb and an angry 
Nancy to get this date. 
     “Sorry sweetie, I love you too much as a friend to ruin that. Now get out of here 
before Nancy rips you a new one,” I teased. “Proctology is not a specialty I want to go 
into, although you do have a cute butt.” 
     Scott smiled crookedly, hugged me briefly, and ran out like his cute ass was on 

That's all for now, but what are you waiting for? Go forth and LICK MORE INK!

Who am I?

My photo
Quick and dirty, I’m a writer of multicultural erotica, erotic thrillers, seductive romances, and whatever else comes to mind. Tattooed vixen. Wicked humorist. Incurable humanist. Proud geek! Closet badass. (Shhh…) Lover of pit bulls, fast cars, all music, and candy. THAT’S THE NUT IN A NUTSHELL.